shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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