Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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