You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
