Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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