I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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