If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Randomize
