i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
