My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
