You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
