You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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