cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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