Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's the barista slut.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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