I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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