she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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