I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize