the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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