we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
