White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
