i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it