You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
