everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising