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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So can I buy you a drink sometime?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  Happy birthday, America.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people

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