I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.