SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.