i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.