ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's official drugs can't kill me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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