Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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