where does the pee come out of this thing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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