I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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