Who wears a wallet chain?!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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