Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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