Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize