Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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