i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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