Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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