i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
