check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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