he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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