I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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