You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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