So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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