Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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