we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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