guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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