Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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