Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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