Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
