Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
