we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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