That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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