worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
