Ambien. No doubt about it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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