Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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