Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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