so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
