break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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