So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
