he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
