Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
