Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
