Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize